Underestimated

I think many people underestimate my school. To be brief, I go to an all girls catholic school and I head AWFUL things about it.

So last year, I went to a public high school in the french immersion program. From my perspective the school was very fixed on popularity. And not even the bad kind, not with mean girls and stuff but only with how many people you knew. I didn't like it that much, but mostly only because of the people I was with. The people weren't exceedingly friendly either. For me, they were nice but not nice enough.

This year, at my new all girls school I find the people exceptional. When I hear horrible things said about my school (for ex: full of rich bitches, like gossip girl, prissy girls..) it just sets me off. Do people underestimate us so much that they can't expect us to be thoughtful, intelligent, interesting, witty, fun, adventurous girls that we are? We do not have a petty system of popularity because we value each other.

Another myth said is that we are all keeners who have no life and don't know anything about the outside world. It is NOT TRUE at all. We know and have friends outside of school. We do go to parties (were not aliens), and I think were more human than A LOT A LOT A LOT of schools and people out there.

4 things

There are only 4 items I really care about. My ipod, my cellphone, my computer and my camera. Today, my sister broke one of them, my baby, my camera. I broke out in tears and told her how I felt. She's never been particularly nice to me but today was bad even for her. Even then did she worry about me getting under her skin. She didn't take down her defense and said my camera was shitty and she would be wasting money replacing it. Lucky for me, my dad gave her a hard talk. You never put a fucking cellphone cord in a camera.

I don't care if this sounds completely ridiculous. It matters.

Epiphany in a smaller sense

Never had I realized that screenplays were not always well-written and were only a success because of the advertising or a few jokes. Even the actors, if they're famous can make it a great hit.

What made me come to this realization was the Glee episode "Hair". It's about how hair or image persay can distract you from real talent. For example, Lady Gaga would use her weirdness to distract you from the fact her voice is not extraordinary.

I also realized that songs can be written about such a simple feeling. For example the ultra-popular coldplay song Viva La Vida is about having everything and then losing it. How his empire was built on sand pillars that could fall instantly.

As a side-note I realized my dreams are always about desires. For example last night I had a dream that everyone liked me and wanted to come to my party.

Famous

"When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star..."

I want to be famous. I want people to know who I am. And I want to be special.
Special...a silly word. Which many people strive for yet never achieve. I guess you can use special effects, props and your image to distract and confuse but you have more clouds in the way of shining through.

I want people to know and look up to me because I'm special, and different. I have answers. I have insight. I'm real.